TO GIVE THANKS

I've had a number of things preoccupying my thoughts lately -- working on getting word out about next summer's Mythcon (which I am chairing), various writing projects, and the dwindling nature of my savings and how I'll need to find new income. But Thanksgiving morning when I got up, I decided to sit down and write out all the things I had to be thankful about in the last year.

Well, actually, I went back further than the last year -- I went back a year from April, back to the point where I asked God to turn my life upside-down.

It's interesting how we regard things from the inside. I've mentioned that prayer request to friends who are believers, and they get a shadow of awe in their eyes at the idea, and usually comment about how brave or bold it was of me. And yet.... it seemed to be at the time that it was what I really needed to do -- I had been stuck in a rut and I knew it was draining away my joy of life.

In the time since then, God has proceeded to really answer my prayer in many different ways. At the time, I'd made only one "string request" on the prayer: that I not lose income. And God has honored that, so far. A lot of blessings have come to me because I asked for God to shake things up in my life.

And now, I've reached a season where... well, where I'm not sure about what to do next. I've had the time since my job with Jeopardy! ended to get clear with myself what I really, really want to be doing. That would be writing. And even though I let things distract me from doing the writing, I still want to be doing that more than working in an office again, for instance. I don't know if that's going to be what will happen, but I've been reminded that it is what I want. And I can be thankful for getting that insight.

Also, in looking back, I can see how well God watches out for me. As I get fearful about the possibilities, it is very good to be reminded of that. How He will do it, I don't know. And I suppose that is the point: to trust Him so completely. I do know I am expected to move forward and do the job-hunting and/or income-raising that I can think of doing. He might use another means of providing for me, but He does expect me to do what is in front of me.

So, on Thanksgiving morning, I spent and hour and a half writing down in my journal about the things I had to be thankful for. It was a very good way to start the day.