AT THE EDGE

When circumstances bring us to the edge of seeming disaster, we have a choice in how we will respond to it. Trusting God to keep us from falling is no easy thing.

There are many verses that assure us that God loves us, will provide for us, will supply our needs. And that is a positive thing we really want to hold onto. Yet sometimes it feels slippery in our grip. When we see our friends in serious difficulties, when our own circumstances become ... at best, challenging, fear starts sneaking in, trying to dislodge us.

Lately, I've had some challenges come at me. They have alarmed me, rattled me. I don't like having things come up on me unexpectedly. I don't like having to deal with sudden serious things in my life. I admit it, I'm a control freak, and seem to become more so with each passing year.

Yet, I cannot escape the fact that four years ago, I asked God to turn my life upside-down. Which He has done in so many ways. I do dig my heels in and whine and wiggle and cling to the things I know. And then laugh at myself. But as I get closer to the edge I feel more and more uncertain - what will God's answer be to my situation? If I know, then I can prepare for it. That's what my mind says, even though I realize it is an attempt to control things that I should leave in God's hands.

At the end of my questions, even as I draw near and stand at the edge, I know that what is required of me is to do those things that are immediately in front of me. To do the pragmatic things that present themselves, to do what is at my hand. They may not in the end provide the answer to the things disturbing me, but I don't think that is the point the Lord is interested in. I think the Lord wants to see us learn how not to let events paralize us. Shock and anxiety He understands, it is inaction that He wants us to overcome.

Perhaps the answer to what to do when standing at the edge is to just leap out, trusting Him to catch us. Is that folly? Is it testing the Lord? I admit, I'm not sure yet.