A GIFT FOR MY ENEMY

You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? If you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same?

(Matthew 5: 43-47)

Jesus seems to love to challenge our ordinary human inclinations. He pushes His followers to look even further into matters, to go further beyond their usual emotional reaction to events. Our reaction is to go, “What do you mean, ‘Love your enemies’? Can’t we just ignore them? Can’t we just dismiss them as people we should not deal with?”

And Jesus answers, “No.”

Jesus wants to raise up a body of people who will be extraordinary, who can indeed be called the Children of God. And He says that to get to that title, we have to do more than the ordinary person.

But wait .... That phrase, “you may be sons of God,” doesn’t that ring a bell? Didn’t He say something like that just recently?

And when we look back to the Beatitudes, there it is – “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the sons of God.”
So Jesus is just elaborating further on that declaration. Loving one’s enemies is how one can become a son or daughter of God.

Loving the enemy. Hmmm. Something to think about. What does that look like?

In the course of everyday exchanges, when conversations verge into discussions of politics, I see disturbing things happen in many of my fellow believers. Whether they are conservative or liberal, they start to demonize the political leaders of the opposing ideology. What makes it worse, to me, is that these political figures frequently are fellow believers, with records of regular attendance at some church, and often reportedly inclined to confer with their pastors. Yet, I've seen people behave as if it is an impossibility for those politicians to be genuine in their choice to follow Christ. Even the commitment of their pastors to truly following Jesus has been called in question. Where is the love in this? Nowhere.

And that dismissal of nominal fellow believers who hold a different political agenda becomes even more magnified when the person openly stands outside the Christian faith. Dismissal and rejection become even more stringent.

This is not what Jesus calls us to be doing. There is no excuse for it. No cause for righteousness will excuse our failure to bring love into the mix. If we act without love, we are “no better than the Gentiles.” Of course, everyone finds it easy to love those who share their beliefs. There is a sense of safety when we are inside a closed circle, an “In Group.” Even those who we stand against know that feeling. “Go where you are loved” makes the greatest sense in the world to us.

But it is not enough in the eyes of the Lord.

Oh, how we wish we could get around it. Oh, how we wish we could ignore it. But we have here the words of Jesus, telling us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us. Just how well do we follow this instruction?

I don’t think we do it very well at all.

Oh, I hear and see plenty of “praying for those who persecute us.” Of the sort of prayer that goes, “Father, Those People are all wrong! Change their hearts! Make them stop persecuting us! Make them see the error of their ways!”

Do we ever consider what that sounds like in God’s ears? “Father, I don’t like or understand that person’s attitudes. They are all wrong! Rap their knuckles and discipline them! They’re mean to me! Make them stop!”

Where is the love?

In the course of studying the Sermon on the Mount, I don’t often look outside of it. Not because there are not pertinent scriptures that might apply, but rather because, for me, I want to stay focused on what Jesus is charging me to be doing in my life. But this whole matter of loving the enemy makes me look to what Paul gives as the image of Love.

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteouness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 – NAS)

What is it that I see when I look at my fellow believers commenting about those with a differing political outlook? I see impatience, unkindness, and arrogance. I see people speaking in unbecoming fashions, sniping and belittling those they disagree with, creating horrible nicknames to plaster on their political opponents. I see believers who harp on wrongs done them, broadcasting them loudly and angrily. I certainly do not see believers bearing all things, hoping all things, enduring all things. And it grieves me.

Not to say that I’m perfect at this “loving the enemy” thing myself. I can get resentful of slights and dismissals. I can be as cutting and spiteful as the next person. But I’m at least willing to admit that I shouldn’t be doing it.

But even publicly admitting we shouldn't be sniping and spiteful, that is not what Jesus calls us to be doing. I know some who will not tone down their rhetoric of condemnation, because they believe their cause is righteous. They believe that they have to stand up and be vocal about what they believe is important and godly. But I cannot help but think that they grieve the Lord greatly because these zealots do it by tearing down those who oppose them with vicious verbal knives.

Where are the peacemakers? Where are those who will be called the Sons and Daughters of God?

The crusaders of causes believe they have already earned that title. I think that is at the heart of it. They presume they wear that title and so are now free to follow their sense of righteousness, even though they behave without charity toward those they stand against.

But that title, Son or Daughter of God, is not something we can claim. It is something bestowed upon us – by others, by the Lord. We gain it because we are willing to do the service for it. Jesus said, "They shall be called" by that title, not "They shall call themselves the Sons of God."

Make no mistake, God loves all of His creatures. Always. And He calls all of us His children, in the sense that He will never on His side of matters cease to love any of us. But we shall not all of us earn a place as Inheritors, entered into the Royal Line of Heaven, given rulership and authority. Jesus has told us that that power goes into the hands of those who can give love even to those who persecute them.

Love is not arrogant, love does not keep records of wrongs done to it. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

This is the gift that Jesus commands us to give to our enemies and persecutors. Can we do it?

STAND YOUR GROUND

You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.' But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. If anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also. Whoever forces you to go one mile, go with him two. Give to him who asks of you, and do not turn away from him who wants to borrow from you.
(Matthew 5: 38-42 - NAS)

When people get into this section of the Sermon, I think they often pause after the cheek-slapping bit, treating the three verses that follow as separate units for consideration. But when I look at it, I see Jesus structurally using “You have heard it said” as the introduction to a thought and its consequences. So I’m looking at it as a full group. Which means there’s much more going on here than we usually allow ourselves to consider.

“An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.” Jesus is referring back to declarations of appropriate retribution, given in Exodus 21: 24 and Leviticus 24: 19-20. The Leviticus passage goes thus:

If a man injures his neighbor, just as he has done, so it shall be done to him: fracture for fracture, eye for eye, tooth for tooth; just as he has injured a man, so it shall be inflicted on him.

Indeed, the Leviticus passage wraps up in verse 22 with this: There shall be one standard for you; it shall be for the stranger as well as the native, for I am the Lord your God.

It is a harsh justice, but one which we recognize as “fair” in our human nature. We want our tormentors to suffer as we have suffered, our oppressors to experience the confinement and restrictions we have suffered. Tit for tat. We feel there is balance in that approach. And look, see, God recognizes it!

But Jesus now puts forward a new, radical suggestion. He presents a new way of responding to these situations. He tells His followers not to resist evil!

Wait, what?

I don’t think by “not resisting evil” He means that we are to give into evil, and become evil. Certainly not. What He is saying is not to put up a fight about it, nor to let it drive us away from that person, to flee like a defeated army.

And that is a challenging proposition, even alarming.

I was once in a Bible study where we completely broke down on the cheek slapping verse. The issues of domestic abuse were brought into the discussion. Some wondered if this verse meant that a woman was supposed to stay with an abusive spouse, to the endangerment of her very life. And this was a group of intelligent people. Would God really require someone to endure that kind of evil, if they had the option to leave it? All our instincts tell us that it would be wrong for a woman to stay in such an abusive situation, and yet the Lord tells His followers to not only not strike back when struck on the cheek, but to turn the face and present the other cheek for a second blow.

Are we really to take a beating and do nothing?

I don't think that is quite what Jesus is speaking to here - although he has already told His followers that they will be persecuted, so He’s not unaware that He’s commending a dangerous life to them. Certainly He expects us to endure the tortures of those who imprison us, to return to them the grace and courtesy of the Lord. But I don't think domestic abuse is what Jesus is talking about here.

Jesus is talking about facing evil. By standing our ground when the face is slapped and presenting the other cheek, we have not run away, we have not cowered down like a subservient slave. Instead we have remained standing, facing the attacker as an equal, unafraid and yet ready to do something entirely different. The attacker is probably expecting “an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth,” but Jesus commands something different from us.

What is that “something different”?

Instead of striking back, Jesus goes on and tells us to pay attention to what the oppressor needs. And to overwhelm them with generosity. If someone wants to sue you for your shirt, give him the shirt and then add your coat to it as well. If someone makes you tote something for a mile, do that, and then go even further. Give, give, give. Repeatedly and beyond expectation. And not the blows that the oppressor was expecting in the very human understanding of appropriate and just retribution, but something much more startling. Give what that person needs.

What is it that the person confronting you needs? Can you look beyond the anger and violence and discover what prompted the blows you have received? Assuming that you have done nothing to provoke the violence, what hurt within the other person gave power to that action? Can you stand, looking the person in the face, to discover what it is that that person needs from you? You need my shirt? Here, take it. I give it readily. In fact, if you need covering that badly, take my coat as well. Do not leave me while you still need something.

Again, because so many trip and stall over the issue, does Jesus really expect abused spouses and children to stay with someone who is a constant danger to their very lives? No, I do not think so. We are never condemned for seeking protection for our very lives.

But He also challenges us not to be always fleeing when faced with evil. If no one ever stands to face evil, how can the kingdom of heaven be increased? If we never show that Love is stronger than evil, how would anyone know the power of God?

“You have heard it said ... but I say to you ....”

Do we have ears to hear this? Do we have the courage to try it?

UPON MY WORD


Again, you have heard that the ancients were told, 'You shall not make false vows, but shall fulfill your vows to the Lord.' But I say to you, make no oath at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, or by the earth, for it is the footstool of His feet, or by Jerusalem, for it is the City of the Great King. Nor shall you make an oath by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. But let your statement be 'Yes, yes' or "No, no'; anything beyond these is of evil.
(Matthew 5: 33-37 - NAS)


When I look at this passage, I cannot help but think of how little we pay attention to what Jesus says here. Oh, we remember the Commandment that warns us about “taking the Lord’s name in vain,” and so we try and refrain from using His name when we are venting exasperation. And we understand Jesus’ warning about making false vows, promising to do something when we have no intention of doing so. But, as always, He is trying to cut deeper into our understanding of what we are doing.

How many of us have tried to bargain with God? At a guess, I would say all of us have done it at some point in our lives. “Do this, Lord, make this happen for me, and I will always do this other thing!” And then, after a good start, we end up falling doing on that which we have promised the Lord we would do. We don't “fulfill our vows to the Lord.”

So when Jesus tells us not to do such things, when He tells us to stop making such promises, what does He mean? Are we to stop doing things in service to God?

No. I don’t think so. I think His recommendation here has more to do with our reactions to our own failures. Eventually the gaps between our intentions and our actions catch up with us, and we go around feeling guilty about our failures to deliver on our promises. And when we feel that we have failed God in some way, we tend to back away from Him. We become even more conscious of our own unworthiness.

That is the last thing that Jesus wants to see happen, our withdrawal from God, for whatever reason.

So He forces us to look at all the ways we try to convey our earnestness in making promises, to God or to anyone else.

Because He knows how easily we slide off the point, Jesus tells us to make no oath at all. We should not swear by heaven, or earth, or by Jerusalem, or by your own head. Do we do these things? Of course we do! “I swear on my mother’s grave!” “I swear by the life of my children!”

I think in reality, these days, we have gotten so far from understanding the whole point of making an oath or vow that we treat all such declarations very cheaply. We make oaths “on” things we do not even value, that have little meaning to us. Do we even understand what we are doing in the Eternal Realm when we make such a vow? I don’t think we do – not deeply enough, at the very least.

God wants us to refrain from making such vows because we frequently bind ourselves unnecessarily to actions or commitments that are not worth that commitment for all sorts of reasons (a temporary relationship for work purposes, a trivial matter, or worse, a declaration intended to deceive the other person).

When we invoke God as our witness, we involve the Eternal One – the one who never forgets – in our actions. Scarlett O’Hara in Gone With the Wind declares, “As God is my witness, I’ll never go hungry again!” We understand that the character is determined. By the time she makes this declaration, we have seen her go to great (and dubious) lengths to achieve her ends. But now she invokes God to pay attention to her actions. And we know she may be willing to do anything, no matter its moral value. And now she’s going to drag God along with her.

We invoke the Eternal and Everlasting for our mundane and trivial matters. In doing so, we cheapen the sanctity of God and heaven. Jesus goes on to point out that swearing by earth is no better, for its sanctity comes from being God’s creation, “His footstool”. So we backpedal, to less obviously sacred things to swear by: “By my own head!” But how much control do we have over that, in its real nature? Oh, we can artificially dye our hair, chemically re-energize hair growth, let our hair grow out or cut it. But we can’t really change its core nature. We have no power over it.

What would we do if God withdrew His mercy toward these follies of ours and enforced the binding nature of our oaths? Do we ever consider that possibility? What would we be doing to our lives and the people around us?

In watching the reality show Survivor, we’ve seen players make promises to other contestants swearing on the lives of their children, vows they never intend to honor. All they want to do is persuade the other player to go along with “the plan.” But what if God really did step in? “You swore upon the lives of your children, and you broke your vow. The lives of your children are now forfeited because of your faithlessness.” Ooops. “You swore on your mother’s grave, and you have broken your oath. Her remains shall now be vomited up from the earth, and shall be left exposed and unsanctified because you failed to honor your promise.” “You swore on your life you would do this thing, and you have failed to fulfill that promise. Your life is now over.”

Are we really willing to face those sorts of consequences?

The vows made at a wedding are intense, rightly so. A marital partnership is the most intense relationship we can have, short of our relationship to God. We commit our body, heart and soul to the sustaining of our partner until death parts us. That is the intent, at least.

In court, we vow to tell “the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth – so help us God.” And then people lie under oath. What would happen if having made this oath (whether or not we include “so help me God”, and God enforced it? Would we be ready to deal with that exposure?

This is why Jesus says that going any further than “yes” or “no” can fall into evil territory. Because it is only God’s love and mercy for us that keeps Him from enforcing our oaths upon us, even our most foolish ones. It would be far better for us to learn to just stick to the simple basics. “Let your ‘yes’ be ‘yes’ and your ‘no’ be ‘no.’”

When I sat down on that summer afternoon back when I was in junior high school, reading my way through the Sermon on the Mount, this passage struck me strongly. It made me very cautious about making promises and commitments. I don’t like being forced to commit to something when I don’t know what my circumstances will be, especially when other people are involved. I know that people rely on others to “keep their word” about things, so I try to be as exact and precise as I can about what I can and cannot do. Maybe from the outside that seems wishy-washy on the one hand, or excessively stubborn on the other. But the fact is, if I say “yes” to something, it is because I really want to do the thing, I really want to make that commitment, and any failure on my part to deliver on it will come from circumstances outside my control. That is the intention, at least, one that I try to stick to. “Maybe” and “I don’t know yet” end up being my response to many things initially.

So, how closely do we pay attention to what we say when we make promises? Not enough. We all fall short. By the wonderful Mercy of Our Father, we are not always called to face the eternal consequences of our failures to fulfill our oaths and vows. But we should not abuse Him so, by forcing His commitment to our own follies. Let us be much more careful about what we promise, and how we promise to complete our vows.

SHATTERED RELATIONSHIPS


It was said, 'Whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce'; but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.  (Matthew 5: 31-32 NAS)

This is a hard one. I don't know if I've found my way to a complete answer on it. For I have had a number of close friends - believers - who have gone through divorces. And I do not question their virtues. Those of the ex-spouses, maybe. One woman I know had been utterly committed to the sanctity of marriage, not “believing in divorce.” Yet when her marriage fell apart (later revelations showed he never treated her as an equal partner), she was greatly distressed at the prospect of divorce. In the very conservative congregation she attended, she became shunned for leaving a marriage that was actually smothering the person God intended her to be. And it's not as if she promptly fell into promiscuous behavior. She did not. She was eventually courted by a godly man, who treated her with the proper respect and concern -- in fact they are still adorably in love, years later. It is a good marriage, and I believe God has blessed it. 

So what are we to make of what Jesus says here? I expect that the following verses about the nature of vows have a great deal to do with this passage. But for now, let’s really look at what He is saying.

When He begins with “You have heard it said,” Jesus is acknowledging that Hebrew law does have a means of providing for divorce. The law is an acknowledgement that we live in a fallen world, where relationships do not always work out. Jesus is well aware of that fact. I don’t think He’s turning a blind eye to the suffering that comes in toxic relationships. But once again, He is looking deeper into things, to their eternal consequences.

“Sending the wife away.” What a discrete phrase that is for the whole scenario! We see it often enough in our own age, on both sides of the gender fence. One spouse lets his or her interest wander, it settled upon a younger, brighter, sexier prospect, passion ignites and so the wandering spouse is ready to jump ship from the older relationship.

In the ancient Jewish culture, the man in the marriage had most all of the power. Even if his wife had been faithful and dutiful in the marriage, the husband had the power to “send her away.” What made the practice harsh on the woman was that culturally, the act of marriage was a ceremonial cutting of the woman’s ties to her family. She “married into” her husband’s family. If she was “sent away,” where was she to go? She might be sent back to her father’s house, but if she’d been married for any length of time, what was to become of her there? She was, in effect, damaged goods, and her father was not likely to find any useful new marriage alliance for her. If her own family shunned her because of the divorce, she was worse off, for there were few honorable ways for such a woman to make a living. If she had skills such as weaving or pottery making, she would still need money to buy the materials and equipment needed for the work, and far too often she would not have such money.

There were disastrous consequences for the woman who was “sent away.” There is an objectification lying behind that careful phrase. “She was sent away.” To what fate? But that is no longer the former husband’s concern. She’s out of his life. Not his responsibility.

Jesus begs to differ with that attitude.

It has always seemed to me that Jesus takes this hard-line stand on divorce because there is something eternal about the bond of marriage. (Actually, I think the intent is that even the mere physical act of sexual union creates an eternal spiritual bond between the participants, but let us stay with what Jesus directly speaks to here.) God has sanctified a union that the man is choosing to break.

Once again, Jesus zeroes in on the importance of relationship. We are expected to consider the consequences of our actions on the people around us. When it comes to divorce, most individuals have reached an emotional point where they do not want to consider what will happen to the rejected spouse. Most of the time, they in fact DESIRE that the rejected spouse suffer dire circumstances. That relationship that began as something sanctified to God has become only so much garbage to throw out.

Except....

Jesus refuses to let us treat others as garbage. Look back to the Beatitudes, and how many of those are about relationship. Blessed are those who mourn – Jesus doesn’t just mean “those who are sorry for themselves.” We mourn the loss of other people who are close to us, who are important to us. Blessed are the meek, the gentle – this is specifically about how we conduct ourselves toward others, it is a social behavior. The attitude of a hermit living alone is whatever it is, for there is no one to interact with. But meekness and gentleness are qualities we extend to other living beings. Blessed are the merciful, blessed are the peacemakers – again, these are behaviors that spring from relationship, from interaction with other people. It is clear. Jesus does not think human beings are disposable trash.

It follows then that the marital relationship is one where these matters are amplified. If we are to be meek and gentle, merciful and peacemaking with the general populace around us, how much more are we expected to do these things in our most intimate relationship?

Very much more.

It still does not give us an easy guide book for dealing with shattered marital relationships in our day and age. I suppose that is the point: it is not supposed to be easy.