SPENDING TIME IN THE WORD


So, after all these months of working my way through the Sermon on the Mount, I've finally finished that project. Well, at least the writing of it. The intention always was to collect the finished product in a volume (and probably an e-book as well). So there is still that work to be done - doing the editing and lay-out, for instance, as well as designing a cover for it.

The discipline of sitting down, if not every day, than at least many days, and writing on a set subject for about 1,000 words was a good experience. I had certainly learned that last year during Advent, which is what led me to attempt the Sermon on the Mount. But it is very strange to have completed it!

Doing the study of the Sermon on the Mount has been on my "Writing To Do" list for quite some time. But I kept shunting it aside. But once I'd gone through the Advent to Epiphany writing, I had felt compelled to try something else. And the Sermon waited for my attention. So I began.

There were days when it was a real challenge. This last year has been the roughest I have ever experienced. And there is much in the Sermon that admonishes us to trust entirely to God for provision for our needs. I admit that there were days when I resented that fact. There were days when it felt like everything was crashing down on me, but the verses for that day were about how God provides for small things like grasses, so how much more would He provide for His beloved children. I'd whine "But grasses don't have rent to pay!" I wasn't feeling particularly beloved at that moment, because I didn't know how God was going to address the matter.

But even on days like that, I could not really sink all the way into the muck of self-pity. Time after time, day after day, God would send help and assistance from odd directions. It doesn't mean that things have been comfortable, for they have not been. But then, I don't think that God worries too much about physical comfort for us, especially when there are things in our souls, in our hearts, that need work.

One of the things that struck me early in working on the Sermon on the Mount, was the indication in the Beatitudes that as followers of Jesus, believers become heirs to the kingdom of heaven. But Jesus goes on to indicate that this new status for us is not just a promise of things to come, it is a mantle of power and authority that we are given in the here and now! That's both a bit scary and intimidating. But to claim it, to exercise that authority, we are obliged to try and be the person Jesus called us to be using the Beatitudes as a guideline.

I have been challenged on just how much I do trust the Lord and His providence. I have had my choices questioned. I have been asked why, if I am in so much need, I do not do literally anything to "get by." I'm not sure others understand the complex flow of things that brought me to this point. No matter how much I assure them that I have tried to find a job I knew I could do, without regard to what level position it was, I often have the feeling that the person questioning goes away thinking "She must be slacking off somehow. It must not be enough." When I explain that in spite of a flow of resume submissions for jobs of all sorts, in this last year, the only instances where I have actually earned money have all been connected with writing activity: sales of my book, learning SEO content writing, doing editing and writing consulting. I feel I can safely deduce that God is blessing one direction for me (writing and writing related activites) and not another (office work of any sort). I dutifully continue seeking the ordinary jobs I know I can do, including office work. But the evidence so far points that God's blessings for me are elsewhere -- and He has provided for my living needs.

One thing has been clear to me in this study, and that is that the Lord deals with us individually. The specific circumstances that one person has to deal with will not be the same as another person. Nor do all of God's People experience the same challenges at the same time. While one person may be lifted up in worldly prosperity, another may be obliged to let go of much they have possessed. And those circumstances do not reflect at all upon the quality of their faithfulness to the Lord. It is no more easy to stick to the line of God's guidence when our hands are full and flowing with money than it is when even a penny is precious wealth.

The Sermon has given me insight on what the Lord calls us to be and how we ought to respond to life. Jesus challenges us to a greater boldness. If we are God's servants, then it is His job to make sure we are maintained and ready to do service. He is reliable, especially when we trust Him. And that trust means more than just sitting and waiting for the divine delivery truck to pull up and meet our needs - it means that we trust Him enough to get up on our feet and step forward to do the job He gives us, even if the delivery truck hasn't arrived yet.

I can't say I'm very good at that. I do it in fits and starts. Some days, anxiety slows me down. But the more I trust the Lord, the easier it becomes. And some days - today is one - even though I have concerns that need God's providence, I can rejoice in how faithful He has been to me through all these months of struggle. I can rejoice that I am still able to do the writing work I love, in spite of the situational challenges. I can rejoice at how God has unfolded to me how wonderful His people really are. God is very great, all the time.

All this I gained by spending time in the Word. But not simply the reading, meditating, and praying time that we usually consider to be "spending time in the Word." What began almost as a whim - "Why not write on something, some Bible verse or passage, every day?" has become something richer, even compelling.

But I've finished that project. What now?

As I was finishing the work on the Sermon on the Mount (which will be collected, under the title The Measure most likely), I begain to wonder, "What next?" I had initially thought of working my way through the book of James, since I consider that to be the second "operating manual" for Christians. But yesterday, I began to feel the tug of something else. I may get to James eventually, but right now, I've been taken over by the desire to study my way through the first letter of John. The study has even proclaimed its title to me: Witness to Light.

This particular blog has become given over almost entirely to my writing and thinking about religious matters, faith matters. It is only one corner of my life, one aspect of it. But it is the foundation I stand upon, that everything else rests upon. It reflects "where I'm coming from."

I have been blessed, and for that I am thankful. I don't know what the Lord will do for my life next. I do have my hopes and dreams that I want to achieve. But it is all in the Lord's hands. I'll just take the next step.